#Day6 = #22DaysToGo

Today’s theme is Single and Happy

Disclaimer : I’m not single (anymore). I’m already in a relationship this past three years.

But I have ever experienced for being single and happy –and it was happened on 2013. I just ended my relationship with past-lover and I was sad for a couple moments. We’re ending the story, in my opinion, with consent and compromised one to another. We discussed and found no light in the end of long dark tunnel. He was really a nice man, we still texted each other even after our story was ended. It ain’t anger text or threat or something bad, it was on the good side.  

 I felt the ending was right, and I had no regret. I cried, yes, but then I felt free for myself. Later on, I felt happiness. Not thinking about relationship because I realized I need some me time, I just happily with my own self, having a really good time with my friends, without checking phones. All I could say is.. I found myself. Even my friends said my face went shiner and brighter; is it what they say if you’re happy then it will affect to your body ? Perhaps. LOL.

By writing this, it’s bringing back memories and I am smiling now.

Sadly, end of 2014 I sank in a toxic relationship. It was the worst relationship I’ve ever been in. It’s toxic, hurting, and just throw as many bad word as you can. I was lost myself. About two and half years hanged in a nightmare relationship, cried all day long, ooowww… (I’m shaking my head now) it’s painful. Really-really pain.  I’m totally in awe.

Two things that I am trying to do are to be thankful for that moment and forgive myself.  I’m still trying until now. I am fully convince that they’re a part of my life that I should accept. Sometimes I giggled remembering my own stupidity’; of all my sacrifices, on the other hand, I just want a bomb blows up his body and he crawls apologize to me. HAHAHA.. yea, I’m not gonna be hypocritical.

I was thankful for bad journey because if we once experienced the bad ones, we will more appreciate the good ones; and we can say that something is good if we know what’s not good, can’t we ?

If I can borderline the theme single and happy :  just found yourself (my note for my own)

My 22 days to go before marriage.. I feel  I’ve found a person that makes me –at least- fine. At this point, when all massive life changes will come, I feel just so so; because there are a lot of thoughts come, as an overthinker, it’s confusing and stressing. But I have a HUGE relieve feeling to know someone will accompany and support me through all these storms; someone that I can lean on, someone that will walk together into the jungle. I’m not feeling sad or feeling wrong or crying about the relationship at all, not even one tear down –but it comes down for this uncertain condition, and so there's a person who wipes my tears away :)