Blessing in Disguise

Have you ever read about my story 'Christmas' ? I’ve found the proper phrase about that. Blessing in disguise. It’s related to my current situation (honestly, I just want to calm down myself by finding good in a bad occasion, but there’s no problem by doing a little reflection, isn’t it ?)

Let’s begin with a conversation on one of my favorite film.

“Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience ? Or does He give them the opportunity to be patient ?” 

“If he prayed for the courage, does him give him courage, or does He give him opportunities to be courageous ?” 

“If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does He give them opportunities to love each other ?”

Well, any other related to these lines?

If you have watched Evan Almighty, then you should be related.

Okay, so… let’s move to my story.

I’m dealing with my own house job (internship) place, a big hospital with a university name behind it. I have to learn and work about one year in this place. I neither hate nor love it, I just feel that this place doesn’t suitable for myself. First, I really want to have a house job out of Yogyakarta. Twenty-five years stay in the same place, I just want to go outside. Seeking another story, another experience.. I want to take care of myself, cooking, cleaning, organize my own money, dealing with home-sickness, and being the new “me”. Hahaha..

But I couldn’t. yeah.. my mother would be alone, so.. she’s the main reason why I chose Yogyakarta in the first place. The other, about the proportion of participant (it’s a more technical reason), which is if your hospital and university in the same area, the chance will bigger. Well, I don’t want to talk about the technically on this write.

Second, having a place that has a university name behind it, it’s terrifying. Hahaha.. It feels like you go to a foreign place and you become a stranger. Furthermore, most people are from the same place, except you.

Umm…

For a few months before choosing the hospital, I always asked God, ‘please place me in the best place, a place that I can upgrade myself; both my knowledge and my personality’. I didn’t mention any hospital, but deep down in my heart, I wanted to get outside Yogyakarta. But in the deepest my heart, there’s my mom. I didn’t know where to go, so let God leads me.

And He sent me into this place.

And I’m trying to sincere of what I’ve got.

And I remember about Evan Almighty conversation and pretend that God talks to me.

“If someone prayed for themselves to be a better person, do you think God gives them a brand new both brain and heart, or does He give them opportunities to be a better person ?”

 Yea, He gave me an opportunity to be a better person here.

I always think that to increase or upgrade yourself, you have to go outside and see the world. That’s true. But stay in the same place on a different perspective could be the other way to increase and upgrade yourself, couldn’t it ?

I tried to change my perspective, then. I’m artificially live as if I’m not with my mother by staying on the house, next to my real house. I tried to manage myself include paying for the house, wi-fi, and others to my mother. But I’m still my mother’s little girl, so, sometimes she gave me food and free soap. But at least I’m trying, right ? hahaha..

Going outside from your comfort zone, it doesn’t ALWAYS mean that you have to go from your place, you can change your point of view; if you want to make a change. He gave the opportunity to be a better person, depends on your will, but the chance always there.

Back to my blessing in disguise.

It was not a happy story to get this place. I felt tired stay in the same place. Then I was crying because I was scared of my high-level hospital, umm, I’m not that smart.. thought the mentors have a high expectation, but I’m not ! no, I haven’t !

And then I write this. I believe this is something called a blessing in disguise. I believe God has a beautiful plan for me by giving His opportunity to grant my prayers.

I have a lot of things to do here, beside my house job program. For example, I prepared the symposium and it coincides with my hospital’s orientation. If I wasn’t in Yogyakarta, then I couldn’t join the symposium that we’ve prepared before. Another example, I can help my teacher by became his research assistant. Maybe I can do more here than the other place. If I got outside Yogyakarta, I’ll do my house job only and I still on my comfort zone.

Well then, maybe my blessing is still in disguise, but the fog will disappear little by little, then it will be seen.